Brother Can You Spare A Dime?

English: Artistic photograph of a dime in a ha...

English: Artistic photograph of a dime in a hand, illustrating the phrase Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If you read my irregularly posted posts you know I got a new job that I just love. There is a very bad downside. I haven’t been paid since February. Times were tough when I took over and I won’t go into details on why they haven’t gotten better, it’s still the best job I could ever ask for. This post is about poverty..no don’t go anywhere. I’ve learned some important things in the last few months.

Poverty is something that can happen anytime…not usually after you take over as Executive Director but hey it happens. Poverty isn’t just not having any money it’s something much worse. Poverty sucks the life out of you. You can’t eat well because is no money to buy the stuff you should be buying, ironically the healthy stuff is more expensive and when you have no money you eat the canned stuff you find in your cupboard. Poverty is not being able to pay a bill and constantly getting overdraft fees that suck up the little money you had in the bank. Poverty is not being able to give your daughter any money to see a movie with friends, she’ll clean out her piggy bank instead, poverty creates shame. Poverty is the best way to kill¬†happiness, sure there are all the platitudes, you don’t need money to be happy etc… worry kills happiness. Worry is waiting for your car to finally blow an engine because there is something seriously wrong and you know it plus you have no breaks, worry is your daughters school finally saying we can’t wait anymore we need that money from you so your daughter can do something she needs to do. Worry is knowing even when you do get money, it’s already spent. Poverty is not being able to mow because you can’t buy gas and your yard looks like an abandoned lot.

Poverty is shame. I have a roof over my head, with shingles flying off every time there is a strong wind. I have my health, although I need to see a dentist badly and so do my kids. I have food, not the best but we’ll make do. I have other ways to make money and I do as much as I can to do that but having to ask that you get paid right away is shame. I am blessed I know this. I am surrounded by wonderful, brilliantly supportive people, and my small but can’t do without family.

I’m just visiting poverty, and I’m probably insulting a whole lot of people by calling what I’m going through poverty. For this I apologize. It will get better, I still hold onto something valuable, hope. Imagine those that have lost that too. That is real poverty.

Brother Can You Spare A Dime?

Careful What You Wish For?

pulling_out_hairMy life has done a full 360. I went from sitting home most days bored to death to never having a free moment to myself. It’s been awhile since I posted and I need to if nothing but to blow off stress steam, flowing freely from my ears. I took a job as the executive director of a local very small nonprofit which was to begin the end of April. I’d started training in the Fall since I’m new to running a non-profit. Well my first big test was to be three weeks in February when the current director went on vacation. Well she went and had an accident on her first day of vacation and is now on medical leave until right before she retires! I jumped in and what I began to see was how messed up this non profit was. It was lead with the directors heart instead of as a business, which is has to be in order to survive. So I had to immediately start cutting costs, hunting down things and then reporting them as I saw fit to the board of director’s president. It’s been extremely stressful just doing that but then you throw in what else I have to do and I’m on overload.

Let me tell you about the job and don’t misunderstand I wanted this job…bad. The job pays very very badly so I have to continue all the other jobs I did before. I run what’s called the Children’s Rights Council of NW Ohio, we have a terrible name because it sounds like we are all lawyers, we aren’t even close. What we do is provide the place, security and monitors to observe and take notes on visitations between a parent who has been awarded court ordered supervised visitation with their child(ren) frequently it’s been a long time since they’ve seen each other. We use volunteers to handle sitting in and observing, don’t get me started on volunteers. Any who what you have to take into account is why the court is saying supervised visitation and let your mind wander. Sometimes we get parents who could be your next door neighbors and sometime we get parents who have mental health issues, domestic violence issues, molestation charges, and a vast number of other reasons. That’s the gist of that. The thing is you are usually dealing with very angry people, parents who resent having to bring their children to us for visits and are angry at their exes and we get the other parent who is angry at the ex, being accused of something by the ex etc.. and who probably hasn’t seen their child for months….even years. That’s the hard part. Sometimes I have to do things I don’t want to do, like deny a parent a visit because of bad behavior, to see a parent who seems so good with their child get denied more visitation, a different type of visitation etc… and we see children who are scared, nervous, angry or just sullen because they are 0ld enough they shouldn’t have to be there but it has to be there.

ME ME ME

ME ME ME

So, I love this job, I love being busy but I’m not handling time management very well, stress very well, the weird hours I have to work and still not having anyone to share my life with-not that I have time for that either. When I talk to people I swear all I do is talk about me, it’s not because I’m narcissistic it’s because I’m the only thing interesting in my life…in a non narcissistic way, understand? I have no one else to bounce this stuff off of and so everyone who takes the time to talk with me gets a blast of me me me…I apologize for that..you know who you are.

I’m done for now…talking about me…at least here it’s ok- you don’t have to read it(did you make it this far?) and I get to talk about me! Love and smootchies to all!

Careful What You Wish For?
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