I’ve never watched a TED talk without getting something from it, no matter what the topic which makes send since the tag for TED is Ideas that matter. I forgot yesterday to post so I’m starting with Day 2. If you don’t know who Brene Brown is you are in for a treat. This TED is fantastic, at one point she talks about people with courage and the definition of courage. I listened and what you hear is people with courage have a sense of worthiness. Worthiness is something I have, not in huge supply but I work on it a lot, but I know from the bottom of my heart, depression takes that away or if you have depression and never been treated and not gotten it somewhat under control, you will not know worthiness. Depression is the killer of worthiness.
I never felt like I needed to end my life BUT when I was in the darkness of depression I felt not worthy. I felt I needed to remove myself, hide, run away, because I was not worthy of others in my life. They should not have to put up with my unworthiness. That is the form my depression takes. Luckily I knew enough or thought enough of myself somewhere deep inside to know I don’t want this darkness and sought help. Help for me is medication and it is a shame for me. I don’t like saying “I take medication for depression” it makes me feel shame, why? I’m not sure why, depression is not sadness it’s so much deeper with roots that spread inside you and pull you deeper into a bottomless pit of darkness where the light cannot penetrate, and for me that is so true it actually felt like it was dark all the time. Now I’m in the light most of the time, there are days when it’s harder to move, to function, to speak to another human but I imagine these days are a lot like people without depression might have every once in awhile, don’t spoil it and tell me no that never happens let me live in my this is “normal” bubble.
I’ve babbled and really lost my train of thought but anyway, watch this TED and I’ll try and share more as I go on my month long TED journey.TED a Day Day2 The Power of Vulnerability