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Searching in the Darkness

English: Konponchudo of Enryakuji Buddhist tem...

Well as is the story of my life I am always seeking something. It feels as though there might be something missing in me, when once found I would feel complete and be able to enjoy life more. Today I went to a Buddhist temple to learn a bit of mediation, enough I hope to do it on my own but with that I decided to try attending the temple for awhile to see it if suits me. Perhaps my lot in life is to seek, to explore, to always be learning…I can’t say that that is a bad thing, what is is searching for something externally which is really to be found internally.

Last week I went to a past life regression class, not sure class is the right thing. Learning more about it…I find the topic fascinating, and would love to try it if I could afford it.

On another tangent here I’m totally hating being single, course it was never my choice but it was what had to be. To leave someone while you still are in love with them is so hard there is something to be said for bad breakups, anger would be easier to deal with than this. I chose to walk away while there was still love knowing if I didn’t there would be resentment and indifference coming in the future. Ugh sounds so noble but sucks so bad. Your brain starts to play tricks on you like telling you maybe you made a mistake, maybe it would be different this time. Dumb brain.

Tomorrow I work out and meditate. A new day.


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Searching in the Darkness

Pictures Hold a Thousand Memories

IMG00031-20120326-0753This morning I was looking for a different profile picture for Facebook, I detest all photos of myself. As I browsed those available I got lost in memories. It’s funny all the emotions one photo can bring to us in just s millisecond. Sometimes we try and move on quickly to not feel the recent pain of an event, but,  like a car accident you can’t just drive by without looking. The memories flood back, and they are good memories, we rarely take pictures of things we don’t want to remember fondly. There is a hurt but also smiles of good times that can’t be taken away and forever kept in photos. I first thought I should delete these, but I can’t they are my memories, whatever feelings they bring right now I know they will, if not now, bring smiles later.

I have pictures of my late husband that I will always cherish, memories fade a little but pictures are the best way to remember and to share. I have lots of childhood photos, pet photos of pets gone but never forgotten, holidays spent with family, vacations with loved ones.

I guess I will never delete photo’s no matter what….except the ones of me. 🙂

Then there is this photo which reminds me of monkeys picking bugs off their mates. :)

Then there is this photo which reminds me of monkeys picking bugs off their mates. 🙂

Pictures Hold a Thousand Memories
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