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Another post about depression

I am full on in it, I am in a funk. My depression is fighting the boundaries it’s been given by meds and is in full on attack. I’m certain the time of year has a lot to do with it. It’s cold, I don’t want to move, it was the holiday season, I don’t want to participate. I’m eating for three I think. My brain is fuzzy and all I want to do is sleep – which if you know me you know sleep is also not my friend except when depression is winning, then I manage to sleep..with some help from the other meds sometimes. I make so many plans and then have no energy to do them. This is what depression can look like. Did I mention it makes your body physically hurt all the time?┬áNasty bugger.

What to do? I dunno. I survive it every year or twice a year. Carry on, gain about 10 lbs, and just miss out on a whole bunch of fun things I could be doing but instead, I sit on my couch.

I am working with essential oils and now is the time to put them to the test. My depression is chemical so what I go through now is a mental thing I’m sure. So Cher’s infamous words “Snap out of it” should be all it takes. I should get on the treadmill I know that works, will I? Probably not, it hurts it takes effort I’m cold I just want to sit here. Lame excuses.

So what is this post about? Whining of course. No seriously if I put it out there, acknowledge it maybe it ceases to be the controller that it is. Wish me luck, I wish you the most wonderful of years!

Another post about depression

Hit with a Whammy

depressionSometimes, out of the blue, my depression will ramp up when normally it’s controlled quite well by medication. I don’t know if it’s the change in time and the darkness, or the time of the year, or always struggling just to survive with very little income and a house falling apart around me, but it’s full-on bad right now. When I wake up in the morning I usually am very happy to start my day, but lately, it’s like I have no purpose, no reason to not just stay in bed and sleep. Not good.

How to fix it? I have no clue – I need to find something to be excited about. It can be the littlest thing but it gets my serotonin or whatever it is ramped back up. My surroundings depress me and overwhelm me. My job feels like I’m swimming in jello jigglers (that really thick jello, for the uninformed). My life is full of meaningful things but I can’t seem to grasp them right now. omg, I’m depressing myself more just reading this. This is what depression is, in case you’ve never encountered it. It’s not the blues it’s thicker and more clingy and it wraps you up and doesn’t want to let you out.

I will fight the good fight, this too will pass.

Hit with a Whammy
Category: Personal Stuff  Tags:  2 Comments
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