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Why Get Out of Bed

10931303_10153036425538630_4992521187872609201_nI woke up this morning and laid in bed. I couldn’t for the life of me think of a reason to get out of bed(Giraffe finally got me up, long story). I have nothing to look forward to, all I do is work. I can’t have a normal conversation because all there is is work and my kids. Work and kids are great but it doesn’t maintain a long conversation or in-depth except if I get on my soapbox about work or kids. Would you want to sit down with that? I wouldn’t.

This week has been so hard. I had to testify for hours and a mom lost her two kids, she’s lost 4 altogether. It was the right decision but it will never ever feel good. In the long run I will focus back to the kids, they are never out of my thoughts, but as a mom you can’t help but put yourself in that position and honestly I can’t I can only imagine how that must feel. Parents love their kids, they just don’t always do it right.

Busy week to look forward to I guess. Almost every day and night is booked. Mostly work stuff 🙂  Some good training to look forward to…for work. Where does a single woman go to meet people all alone. Yes there is church but I don’t find that to be a great place for match making. It doesn’t help that most of the time I have absolutely no interest in relationships. I just need a companion to call to do things with, I do not want any kind of serious thing. It holds absolutely no interest to me. I did something stupid and I know I did what I did because of my serious lack of self worth or not to hurt someones feelings – this would be the second time in a year.

I got so angry with myself, which is  good thing. I’m so not happy with my body, and there is only 2 things I can do. Exercise and eat right. Trying yet again. Always after trial I am full of the urge to control things like exercise, food, house.

Food Musings: Short grain brown rice…cook it long enough and it’s like custard. Why do I buy walnuts their taste is obnoxious, or at least the ones from the grocery store. Pecans are the way to go. To me pecans taste like maple syrup.

That is all, have a wonderful day!

Why Get Out of Bed

Let’s Talk About It

Let's Talk About SexI’ve been working out a whole lot…except for the last couple days. Let’s talk about one of the many things that exercise does for you. It makes you feel good and happy, you start to lose inches if not lbs too if you’re lucky. Your skin improves, my face feels a whole lot smoother and softer, and it makes you wanna ummm ya know.

When I was in my last relationship the ummm stopped because I just didn’t feel like I was loved or cared for anymore, and it felt wrong to me for that reason, like it would be something else not love. I’m not good at fantasizing being Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Well the exercise is making ummmm sound good all of a sudden, probably because I feel better about myself. Figures, no one in my life right now. Hmmm Friends with benefits suddenly sounds like a good idea, unfortunately I don’t have one of those around either. I think I know how to fix this, I will exercise more and more so I’m too tired and sore to even care about moving.  Don’t suggest anything else please, not the same. Weird post, yes?

 

Let’s Talk About It
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